Football Shorts - deadline day special

It’s transfer deadline day, and while the Reporter Series may not have Jim White barking details about Arsenal’s 10.57pm trolley dash, we will do our best to keep tabs on the weird, wonderful and downright desperate.

Let’s get the local stuff out of the way first. Leeds United have been linked with a loan move for West Ham striker Ricardo Vaz Te, Bradford City look set to extend Conor Ripley’s loan from Middlesborough, while BBC Sport claim Watford could come in for Nahki Wells.

Wenger once again looks like he’ll be going for a last-gasp cash-splash, with Real Madrid’s playmaker Mesut Ozil, according to the Daily Mail, looking set for a £42.5 million move to the Emirates. While we find it difficult to believe that Arsene Wenger would spend anything more than three pokemon cards and a packet of cheesy Wotsits on a single footballer, it would be the first time he’s spent a fee on a player since Nacho Monreal came from Malaga last January.

While we’re on the topic of Arsenal, they have been linked with both pricey-looking Karim Benzema and the not-so-pricey-looking Demba Ba. Just as Giroud’s starting to score goals for them too. Aww.

Another manager who could probably do with a couple of new signings is David Moyes, and The Daily Telegraph are continuing the flog the dead horse that is their interest in Marouanne Fellaini, claiming that the ‘fro-some Belgian will be a United player by the end of the day.

By comparison, Spurs are spending money like a student on grants day, and the Mirror reports they are still keen on Real Madrid’s Fabio Coentrao, despite Ancelotti’s insistence that he will not leave the club. Spurs have also been linked with a £10 million move for Thomas Ince, despite already having 250,000 playmakers on their books.

Sunderland, missing any sort of creative spark in their attack, are supposedly after Liverpool misfit Fabio Borini (Mail) while Napoli are sweet on Martin Skrtl (Mail again). Actually, Liverpool could do with switching off the fax machine, as Real Madrid have been linked with a bid for Luis Suarez.

This caught our eye - Harry Redknapp, in one of the most unlikely-sounding transfer links in history, is after Emmanuel Adebayor and Benoit Assou-Ekotto on loan. We’ll have to wait for his car window interview before we hear how true this is...

Stoke City’s England U21 goalkeeper Jack Butland is set to join Sheffield Wednesday on loan. What fun.

Crystal Palace look like they’re hoping to raid rivals Brighton, with bids for Liam Birdcutt and Leonardo Uallo said to be in the pipeline.