Hair, skin and sunlight - summer's here
MORE on hair this week.
Dropped the baby off with my dad the other day, and went off to get my hair cut.
"Have you been?" he said when I returned.
"Yes ... Can't you tell?"
He shook his head. "You were robbed."
It's not the first time my dad has shaken his head over the state of mine. But I'm of an age now when a) I'll wear my hair how I like, thanks, and b) I want to make the most of it while I can, before baldness claims a decisive victory.
So I'm longish and louche for now. Until there's not enough hair to grow, or I get too old for it and start to look like a mid-life crisis artist or a Top Gear presenter.
One thing's for sure, I couldn't get away with it in Iran.
In the latest fascinating twist in Iran's power struggles, the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance has backed a Modesty and Veil Festival later this month, with a catalogue being produced on acceptable hairstyles for men.
The move appears to be a reaction to men adopting more daring barnets, inspired by the World Cup. But those sporting the mullets, ponytails or Hoxton fins favoured by some European footballers have found themselves hauled off to police stations where their hair has been cropped to something more 'Islamic'.
It will be interesting to see how this plays itself out. Iran has a young population which, as we saw last year, has revolutionary potential. Seduced by Western culture, globally aware and internet-savvy, they pose a threat to the old order, which is responding with stricter controls - some of them horrific, some comic.
As well as facing the usual allegations of the torture of dissidents, the authorities are waging a crackdown on dress code, with police filming 'immodestly-dressed' women to produce evidence in court.
(Grand Ayatollah Naser Makerem Shirazi also has a thing about dog ownership, which he calls a "blind imitation" of the West.
"There are lots of people in the West who love their dogs more than their wives and children," he said.)
It's no surprise that hair is a key battleground in the culture war.
While for many Iranians, being a good Muslim and sporting a Hoxton fin are not mutually exclusive, the authorities know that hair styles can signal claims to freedom that they are not prepared to let go unchecked.
It is not only in modern-day Iran that daring to breach the confines of the short back and sides can be a political statement.
The summer is a potentially volatile time when it comes to such matters of decorum.
Even here, in the decadent Little Satan, standards slip as the temperature soars.
Men go tieless, then topless. And for many of us the extra female flesh suddenly on display is part of what gladdens the spirits with the arrival of summer.
Let it all hang out, I say. We get precious little sun in this country.
Being exposed to naked flesh that might put you off your dinner, or distract you from your driving, is a seasonal hazard along with wasps and heat rash.
Stuck in a traffic jam the other day, a girl in hotpants, chatting on a mobile phone, head held high, crossed paths with a woman in a black veil as the sun beat down.
It's not for me to say who was right and who was wrong - but both should have the right to choose.
awolstenholme@ywng.co.uk
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Weather for Cleckheaton
Monday 13 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: 3 C to 9 C
Wind Speed: 17 mph
Wind direction: North west
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 6 C to 8 C
Wind Speed: 15 mph
Wind direction: West
